礼拜五下午2点钟，办公室人空了一半。PM今天请假回广州驾照年检；SA今天flyback提前赶飞机回上海；Configure Leader请假去看房子，说北五环外有20000/平米的房子，我们仰着头问，是别墅么？他笑笑说，不是啦！汗哪！有钱人！小崔姐回家搬家了，说昨天搬了4车，今天搬了2车，还没搬完；BA小赵还处在热恋期，偷偷回家陪女朋友，说有人找就说我回国贸公司了哈… 我和海燕在FQ上聊八卦，可是哪里有那么多的八卦啊…

  从来没做过这么清闲的项目，我努力努力要看书长知识，Siebel的Bookshelf怎么那么大都500多页一本，我一天只能看几页，然后第二天又忘记了从头看过；尤其今天礼拜五思维太活跃，始终稳定不下来，看几个字我就找人聊聊天，好在花了920块钱买的CDMA无线网络还算稳定，这时候派上用场了。嘻嘻……

  好姐妹阿姿的美国小城，居然还是零下几十度，我已经觉得北京今年的冬天实在是很长，我的羽绒服白中泛黑… 我好想换上刚买的春装，用那件兔毛尼子大衣换来的好几件春装还没有机会穿呢，哈哈~ 天气赶紧变暖吧！希望阿姿的宝贝计划快点实现，HOHO~，我就可以当阿姨兼干妈啦~

  Karen他们好像也不忙，中午居然去健身，不过听起来是个好主意，我们也正酝酿着去办个健身卡，好好练练瑜伽形体啥的，矫正一下因为长期坐在办公室而造成的驼背鸡胸，肩周炎，鼠标手等电脑综合症啥的，可惜我已经不在Camelot啦，要不然可以跟Karen一起去，应该很好玩儿吧。可怜我现在在鸟不拉屎的总部基地上班，周边别说娱乐，连吃饭都很成问题… 看来南北差异还真的是有点儿大哦，北四环多么繁华啊，还有我可爱的五道口，到了南四环居然这幅景象… 汗哪！

  约的陪练6点才来，我还有一个半小时的漫长等待，呵呵，时间在蹉跎我，我在Kill时间，就这么着过完今天吧，下个礼拜开始Focus: 专心致志，集中精力，全神贯注地看书哈，呵呵~

  人还是要靠只是充实自己滴！稍稍贪玩一下就好啦~

I really DON'T want to leave...

I kind of enjoy this tiring but interesting project. Everybody works hard here, and everybody is nice. Friendship makes it a very happy time, that's also why, I don't want to leave...

But i work for my boss, and i got to have a long eye sight. He said it was for my long term good, i accept it.

Who can only do the happy things in the world? Just do the things right.

好想好想看见她的脸，希望她就在自己身边，看见我这么努力，她会不会为我骄傲？看见我这么疲惫，她会不会心疼地对着我笑？

好想好想听见她的声音，想听她轻轻地安慰我，微笑地表扬我，鼓励我...

好想好想看见她的身形，有没有老了，有没有累了，无论如何，依靠在她的身边，该是多么幸福，多么亲切...

好想好想让她牵着我的手，捧着我的脸，看着我的眼睛，听我说话...那么多话想告诉她...

可是她不在身边，仿佛那么近，却是那么远，

想拨通一个电话，却不知道电话号码...

当浑身上下，每一个细胞都充斥着酸痛的滋味，我想，就只有一个感觉了，累...

热爱生活的人，就要敢于迎接生活的挑战，当时就是抱着这样的念头，义无反顾地投身于这个对于女孩子来说近似魔鬼的IT行业中...风风火火地开始工作，我也哭过、笑过、彷徨过...不知道算不算摸爬滚打，总之两年多就这么过来了，离成功虽然仍然无比遥远，倒也不算是失败了!

对于提高自我能力，我表现得无比贪心，不管爱做的不爱做的，适合的不适合的，拿手的不拿手的，我都迫不及待地冲过去，总说...工作头几年，其实就是投资，学习最最最最最重要！这个观点，不能说是错的，但是每当我累得惨兮兮的，浑身无力地瘫倒在沙发上，却也常常在想，一个女孩子，这么辛苦，到底值不值得？

这，就是一个要强的女孩子所要付出的代价吧...

有没有这么一首歌，曾经很喜欢很喜欢的歌，现在都不敢再听；

有没有这么一段路，曾经无数次不知疲倦地走，现在都不敢靠近；

有没有这么一个城市，曾经无限向往的城市，现在都不敢再去；

有没有这么一件事，曾经好幸福好幸福地做，现在却成为痛苦的回忆；

有没有这么一个人，曾经那么亲那么亲，现在...再也触不到...

...

后悔像蠕虫，吞噬着我们的心灵，心中想象着无数的“如果”，可是正是这些“如果”，把你送进后悔的深渊...

可是又有谁，能把所有事情都做对？

...

 

It is rly a long time that i didn't come up to write anything. I am not that busy, and i do have a lot of things to write abt. It is jst too messy in my brain that i can hardly get it organized.

Everybody who just joins the society is naive. We believes others easily. We believes in good things. We don't often suspect when good things comes to us. We devote ourselves to it. We are expecting nice prospects. We will not realize the lies until we get hurt.

We are still learning. We will grow from the lessons.

Just keep learning...from everything...

 

今天去联想竞标，我有幸作为“亲友团”参加，第一次参加这种活动，有点兴奋...

项目估计是没戏了，说是因为联想的员工对Siebel有抵触情绪，之前他们用过Siebel6.0，前阵子改用了SAP，那些员工一见到SAP的界面叫到：“啊~~SAP的界面长得像Siebel！”...这么夸张...谁把Siebel做的这么烂，还是联想的员工不会用？我们试图解释说先在Siebel已经到了8.0的年代了，可是看来是无济于事了！

今天总算也没白去，充分体会到“甲方”的趾高气昂，联想的人算是把甲方的架子发挥到极致，其实绅士一点又何妨，这样的姿态只会让人觉得缺乏专业精神，或者严重点说，没素质！

呵呵，我倒是不介意，我只关心，第一次参加竞标，虽然未必成功，但是我又学到点东西，嘿嘿！

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."

--Brian G. Dyson, President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept. 6, 1996

 

明天小雪了，今年的冬天算来得晚的吧！

天气预报好心提醒说，小雪预示着冬天真的到来了，降温在所难免，大家要添衣保暖！

冬天了， 在家里涮个锅，看着腾腾的热气，多温暖啊，幸福就是这样产生的吧，^_^

 

楼上的人在吵架 / 打架

只听见带着哭腔的女人在歇斯底里

想想已经很久没有听见这种声音

也已经很久没有什么东西可以让我歇斯底里了

...

我只是衷心地希望

他们还没有孩子

...

 

试了很久

想给Space换个模版来表达 或者 改变我的心情

Space的背景颜色真的可以改变我的心情么

不可以

所以还是找一个来表达我的心情吧

 

是的

现在的心情

就是这么黑暗 这么混沌

感冒了

鼻子不通

我很久才感冒一次

所以我并没有那么讨厌现在这种混混沌沌的状态

时不时地来一个喷嚏

反倒让我有一种如释重负的感觉

 

有些东西

越是想忘记 越是时不时地在脑子里探出头来

先前对自己说

就当生了一场病

希望病好了 一切就都好了

病倒是真的来了

病好了

一切真的会都好了吗？

 

人生难免会犯错

也许应该学会原谅自己

 

想做的事情太多

进展的脚步太慢

很多次都想好好努力努力

但是 惰性惰性惰性...

我对它咬牙切齿

却跟它每斗必败

今天晚上 本来想用熬夜来给自己的艰苦奋斗开个好头

可是

感冒不是应该早点休息吗

...

 

GG已经把泡好的感冒冲剂放在我身边

犹豫很久我决定喝下去

他兴奋地拿着一首老歌 很老很老的歌

《在那桃花盛开的地方》

企图作为手机铃声

被我扼杀在萌芽之中

我说

你要拉风也不用这样吧 别人会离你至少五米远 表示跟你处在不同的时代

...

 

GG弄了个卷发

他是为了让我开心 改变形象

其实 说实话 真的

还不错

只是当时真的被他惊呆了

没想到他会把两年理发的钱

一口气用了

就为了 换个形象

其实 说实话 真的

GG为我做了很多

 

对于工作

最近缺乏热情

对项目 有一种又期待 又害怕的感觉

最近总说的一句话 就是

还没准备好

发生了 并发生着太多事情

后面的不敢回头看了

前面的还有很多

我

真的还没有准备好

 

又接连好几个喷嚏

我想该去睡觉了

这次护肤乳液的牌子 叫做" Fruit of the earth"

之前没有听说过

只是喜欢它

好像青草的汁

散发着原野的味道

在这种味道里

我会睡得很好

 

It is really a long ...long time, I didn't come to write something.

My recent life is too complicated...too complicated for me to handle.

There are so many things to do, while I was wasting so much time on unworthy things.

...

 

Most of the time, we are anxious that life would go in an opposite direction as expected.

However, when life does go in the direction as I want it to, but too fast, it also scares me.

I feel tired, more tired than ever before.

Too much pressure comes as company with it.

I don't know how to accept it.

I am just not ready for it.

 

Always complaining that there is no motivation for the hard work.

But when motivation does come, I feel so panic to face it.

Maybe a little too much for me.

I am just not ready for it.

 

I must be supposed to hurry my steps.

Give myself encouragement.

If not ready for it right now, then I need to get myself ready for it ASAP.

...

 

Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin' don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
(You know it's just too little too late)
So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move on
I'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone

And you know
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just too little too late)

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
(You know it's just too little too late)
Go find someone else
In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help

Cause ya know it's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just too little too late)

I can love with all of my heart baby
I know I have so much to give
(I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live, yeah oh

It's just too little too late
Yeeeeeeah!!!

It's just too little, too late
Yeah it's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say
(You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway
(You know it's just too little too late)

It is just something you should do, no matter you like it or not.

Maybe it is painful. Maybe it takes time.

Don't make your friends worry about you.

Don't let them down any more.

Be nice to yourself, and to the people who care about you.

They are also the people who you really need to care about.

It is something you are supposed to do, no matter how hard it is.

Don't hesitate anymore.

Be brave and strong.

Just do it.

 

 

 

后天考交规，才看了一点点，听说大家都考很高分，我...总不能不过吧~，呵呵，加油！ 

 

好久没打乒乓球，信誓旦旦地说今天非要打到爽为止，两个人订了两个小时的场地，... 才打1个小时，已经累到挥不动拍子，球技也退步许多...

很显然，我出现了体能危机，怎~怎么可以~

想当年我怎么说也算是一个运动健将，打起乒乓球一下午根本不在话下，毕业才1年多，已经退化到这种地步了...好悲哀！

...

I really need to pick up some sports.

 

今天，我做了一个大众经典菜 - 西红柿鸡蛋，和一个niuniu独门经典菜 - 啤酒肉。
菜还没上桌，GG就一个劲地流口水，因为啤酒肉的香味已经席卷整个屋子了。

好不容易可以开吃了，GG一发不可收拾，嘴里不断嘟哝着：“不知道以前为什么我要做饭？”
吃完一碗饭，GG一边可怜巴巴地看着我，一边摩挲着肚皮，“你说如果我胖了，该怪谁？嫌弃我吗？”
我看着GG日益发福的体形... 无奈，有人喜欢吃自己做的东西，我只能说“我的错，我的错，吃多没关系，运动就好！..."
GG听完“嘿嘿”一声，又盛一碗米饭...
呵呵，生活其实就这么简单！
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

下面是啤酒肉的做法，谁说“越好吃的菜越麻烦做？”一点也不麻烦，但就是很好吃哦！

我 需要换一种心情，
换一种心情 去看这个世界，看身边的一切
换一种心情 去工作，
换一种心情 去学习，
换一种心情 听朋友的劝说，
换一种心情 给家里打电话，
换一种心情 去听那些曾经听了无数遍的歌，
换一种心情 去走那些留有很多回忆的路，
换一种心情 去看待得与失，
换一种心情 去接受开始与结束，
换一种心情 去珍惜身边的人和事，
换一种心情 去追求进步，
换一种心情 去寻求幸福，
换一种心情，
不要伤心，
不要难过，

不要逃避，
不要退缩，
我 只是要换一种心情，
换一种心情，
然后 一切都会好的！